The following tips will help you speed up the divorce process and ease your suffering.
1. Acknowledge that, regardless of whether you wanted to divorce or not, you are going through a whole series of changes and losses, that they cause you different negative emotions and affect your whole life and that you need time to adapt, so you must be patient with yourself. Feelings don’t go away overnight, even though our situation may seem to get better.
2. Find out what divorce entails and how it affects different areas of life. Analyze them and if you need help in some, look for it, there’s nothing wrong with that. Remember that a divorce is causing a lot of changes and that you need to adapt and perhaps modify your life, in front of many of them.
3. It is very important that you understand that what happens to you is normal and that, although very painful, it is a process that has a beginning and an end. You probably see the end as something far away or as a sad and negative one, but if you do the right thing, it doesn’t have to be like that.
4. The end is not the signature before the judge, it is the moment when you achieve your physical and emotional recovery, because as long as you continue to carry negative emotions towards your ex-partner and constantly thinking about her, you are still attached to her.
5. Give yourself permission to feel any emotion that comes up.
Don’t deny it, don’t criticize her, but express it properly. That is, in the right place, at the right time, with the right person and in the right way. You can do it in writing in a personal diary.
In fact, only by recognizing, accepting, expressing and working with them can you achieve a good recovery that frees you from the past and allows you to live and enjoy the future.
Remember that emotions, however intense they may be, are only one part of you. They can’t control you unless you let them.
Do not compare yourself with others. Remember that each situation is different and each person is different. Therefore, the same situation does not affect all of us in the same way. You can share what you feel, but don’t let people’s comments affect you. You have your own rhythm.
Give yourself the time you need to recover. To recover well from a divorce we need approximately 18 months to 3 or 4 years.
Don’t force yourself, but don’t let pain or compassion keep you trapped in the same place. Progress can be slow, with progress and setbacks, but the important thing is that overall. you are constantly improving. No matter the size of the steps you take, especially at first, as long as you keep moving toward the right goal: your recovery.
8. – Avoid, as much as possible, places, situations or people that provoke painful memories. If you can’t help it, when you find yourself in that situation, think,”The past is over. Today is a new day and the beginning of a new life that I am building. What matters is the happiness and well-being I want and can achieve.
9. – Look for new activities and relationships that are part of your new identity: A man or woman who has the capacity to build a new life, where he can be happy. You may not feel up to experimenting or going out, but it’s important to force yourself.
10. – At first, during the first few months, do not make drastic decisions, such as changing your home or work, unless it is essential. If you need to make changes, make them little by little and based on your priorities. If you’re not sure what you want or need, wait or ask someone to consider objective and honest, to help you analyze your priorities.